I knew it was time.  We were starting to get some deep-hearted questions and I could feel something within me anticipate what every mom forgets she’ll have the responsibility of doing:  giving “THE TALK”.  My oldest daughter had recently been baptized at age 8, and I could feel the “mother tugs” that I needed to take action.

I spent a lot of time considering how I could best do this.  I spent time reading articles and I spent hours at the bookstore.  I was amazed at what was available.  Many books with great information and even pictures to help communicate everything from where babies came from to what to do if you become pregnant. (Huh?  Kind of interesting, I know.)  I looked within resources within my church and books authored by those whose standards reflect my own.  What I found were great pockets of information in most of the books, but not ONE resource that reflected all that I had hoped to share or hoped to convey.  And some just offered way too much information that I didn’t need to share.  How would I be able to know just how much my daughter’s heart and mind could handle?

I chose to make it a matter of prayer.  I knew God would bless me in my efforts and help me communicate exactly what was right for her if I sincerely asked.  I felt inspired and guided through the entire experience.

I hope that we might inspire you in your efforts to teach your children about the birds and the bees!

First, I made a special invitation with similar wording to invite my daughter to brunch with me:

”You are invited to an AMAZING DAY with Mom.  {Day, Date, Time.}  We will go have brunch and spend the day talking about some AMAZING things.  Please wear your baptism dress because this is an extra special occasion.”

I had support from my husband with the other kids and we set aside several hours for everything.  I focused on the AMAZING part of things and kept things really upbeat.  I purposely chose the Saturday right before Mother’s Day. (reasoning coming…)

Here we are starting out.  We grabbed a quick picture and then we were off!

We went to one of my favorite luncheon places in Scottsdale called Arcadia Farms.  I asked to sit on the back patio and we enjoyed a quaint little intimate experience.  I used the time to compliment my daughter on “How much she’s growing up” and “How proud I am of her” etc. while we were waiting for the food. {No sex talk just yet}

My Mom had just recently been diagnosed with breast cancer and lived a state away.  This little bird was just hanging around our table and I remember  feeling an overwhelming sense that this little bird was symbolic of her being there and helping me.  Love that!

After brunch, we walked across the street to a little courtyard, sat down on the grass, and I pulled out 5 books that I had chosen to teach from.  I had marked various sections and phrasing that fit with what I had hoped to teach from each book.  

Here are the names of the books: (1) It’s So Amazing by Robie H. Harris (2) The Care and Keeping of You by The American Girl Doll Library (3) How Are Babies Made? by Usborne (4) Growing Up by Brad Wilcox (5) How to Talk to your child about sex by Linda and Richard Eyre.

We spent a lot of time.  I asked her questions along the way to check and make sure she was understanding.  I talked about everything I felt like she could handle.  I purposely left out a few things but that’s only because they are just plain gross and I don’t even talk about those things as an adult or didn’t agree or feel the need to teach those things to my child.  Otherwise, I used specific and appropriate wording to explain about things, making bridges with prior connections of things we hadn’t used the appropriate wording for.

At the end of the discussion, we talked specifically about the beauties of procreation and the importance of saving those AMAZING and procreative powers for when she was wife and mother.  (i.e. Mother’s Day)   I used the opportunity to do something that my parents did for the children in our family.  Basically in a nutshell, it’s an agreement between us as parents and our children, signifying if you refrain from the use of drugs, alcohol, premarital sex and or promiscuity and live a clean, moral life up to the age of 20, we’d give that child $1,000.00 as an ultimate reward for good behavior.

We signed the contract and I gave her a hand-stamped necklace that had her initial, a fresh water pearl and the word “promise”.  We talked about the symbolism of the necklace, that it was symbolic of the special agreement (or promise) in the contract and the important understanding that she was to try and live a clean and virtuous life.

Overall we had a special experience talking.  I left the door wide open for her to ask any other questions additionally as they came from day to day, and I felt a sense of satisfaction that what I had shared were the right things for her to hear.

All of this worked so well, that when my #2 was old enough three years later, we shared a similar time together.  She was recently baptized, and Mother’s Day rolled around.  I can honestly say I had just as special experience and tender experience with this one.

We started out with an invitation and picture.

Breakfast, and would you believe, a bird?  Yes.

Special time to visit.  And a little drive to somewhere important where we could talk quietly and peacefully without other distractions.

This process really worked for our family!  I hope it brings you some insight into how you too might be able to talk about these important things with your children.  And we’d love to hear from you if you have any additional ideas of how to share these special things.

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